Welcome to Feel Better Now!
How important is it to have your special people around you, encouraging you to really believe in yourself to achieve beyond your wildest dreams?
Lola Berry a nutritionist, wellness guru, yoga instructor, actor, TV presenter, and the host of the Fearlessly Failing podcast. She is also the author of 11 books. Her latest release is aptly named Fearlessly Failing, all about how to overcome fear and heartbreak to find your happiness.
We all need people around us who bring out the best version of ourselves. Lola talks about the special humans in her life, her ups and downs, how you can surround yourself with your biggest cheerleaders, and how to find true joy living a life of service.
Enjoy this transformational interview with the endlessly funny and unapologetically authentic Lola Berry as she unleashes the power of fearlessly failing.
Key Topics and Tips:
● Lola’s morning routine and nonnegotiable rituals
● How to listen to the messages that lead you to your calling
● What your next step should be if you aren’t sitting in integrity
● How to get out of a funk if you’re feeling disappointed with yourself
● The two mentors that changed Lola’s life
● The most important lesson Lola would teach her children
● How to be unapologetically yourself
Where You Can Find Lola Berry
“My compass has always been about, ‘Does this feel good?’ Always.” (6:54, Lola)
“I’m always going to be too fat for someone and I’m always going to be too skinny for someone else; so, I better figure out what makes me feel good. That was a game-changer.” (11:57, Lola)
“I think self-belief goes miles. I think it’s a currency that will never let you down and run out if you’ve created it.” (28:37, Lola)
06: How to Be Unapologetically Authentic with Lola Berry
jackie: . [00:00:00] Welcome. Welcome. Welcome, Lola. We got real to have you here. Thank you so much. And welcome back to Australia.
lola: Ah, well, thank you very much, Jackie. I mean, it feels kind of weird and I’m in hotel quarantine. So I feel like I’m in this weird Truman show world at the moment.
It’s very fun, but bizarre. Yes,
jackie: it’d be Groundhog day. What day is it at the moment for you?
lola: Day eight, which apparently is the hard day.
jackie: Yeah, I imagine it must be like when you first get there, is it, is it like a bit of a holiday and then you’re like, this is fine. What’s everyone
lola: talking about? Yeah, for me, I figured out what the hardest is.
And it’ll be interesting how today goes, because it’s a public holiday in some states, but the weekend is the hardest because I don’t have anything booked. I’ve got nothing on. That I found the most, like tick-tock looking at my watch a little bit. Yeah. I’m much better being productive.
jackie: Yes. Well, it’s a great question because you are a Virgo that I know.
I know that about [00:01:00] you I’ve, I’ve tried to binge watch as much as I can about you, your own, all your amazing amazingness. Talking about a good time to have a ritual. I talk a lot about how you start your day is how you end your day. And I always like to ask people, tell me about your morning routine.
And is there anything that you have ritualized or that, that is a non-negative.
lola: Yeah. I mean, I I’m interested to see how it’ll change, like get out of quarantine because I’m in the quarantines fear right now. Like I get up every morning, I’ve always intimate and fasted or I have for many years on black coffee.
So I have my little lower coffee then while I’m doing that, I get my white port out and I write down what I want to achieve for the day or my diary. I’m I love, I’ve got three different diaries and notebooks and podcasts, books and whatnot. So. I like to physically write stuff. I don’t have a digital calendar other than for podcasts.
Like if I’m going on as a guest and then I’ll move my body in some way. So at the moment I have a treadmill so that, [00:02:00] but when I’m in Byron, I usually go to Pilates or yoga or something like that to kind of like move my. First thing straight off the bat. Cause like you said, it sets you up for the day.
And then I find that I go to bed feeling like my body’s moved, I’ve achieved something, you know, and I, I have to feel, I get such gratification, ticking things off the list too. I must be a psycho.
jackie: Oh, absolutely nice. It’s like a, it’s almost like the, when the, you know, the, the phone dings with a text message.
The endorphins that you get from the list ticking. Absolutely. I think everyone, I don’t think you’d be human if you didn’t enjoy a tick off the
lola: list. Okay, good. You’re making me feel better. Absolutely.
jackie: Oh, that’s, that’s beautiful. And your, you know, I love that you talked about. Part of your ritual is your is your Lola coffee.
And it’s a good time to ask about that because you’ve had such a, an interesting meandering Korea. And I think we’re [00:03:00] at a time where people may not necessarily be happy to go back to the job that they are at. You’ve, you know, you’re an accomplished nutritionist, you’ve got 10 books already, a podcast, your own products.
So how do you listen to the message that an an and an actress, how do you listen to the message that you’re drawn to, to really follow your calling? How do you, how do you do that? Cause you’re incredible.
lola: I just like doing stuff that feels good in my heart. And, and I’ve gotta be honest with you about the coffee.
Like there’s three of us, so it’s not me guy cooking it up in a kitchen going, Ooh, let’s try, you know, initially. Sure. This was me and my boyfriend, but we have a third partner as well. Who’s also incredible. So we have skillsets cupboard my boyfriend in a past life. He used to be a food source. So he understands like balancing and flavors.
Whereas all coming as a nutritionist would be like, yo, no sugar, or, you know, we need to keep it [00:04:00] low inflammatory and all that kind of thing. And so, and then we’ve got raw about a third business partner. That’s like, this is how we distribute. This is how we look at a business plan. So I want to, like, I do have a lot of help.
And then even on the like book side of things, you know, I don’t self publish. I work with a publisher and then I’ve got an, a. Agent, and then I’ve got a publicist, like you’ve got these little, you build these little teams around you that help you to facilitate these dreams of yours. And yeah, for me, it’s always been though my, my compass has been like, does this feel good?
jackie: Yeah. I love that. Does my compass feel good? If there was, if there was one. Practical tip. You could give me to how to take the very next step towards doing something different to what you’re doing now, because maybe you’re not sitting in integrity. You’re not singing in flow. What could you teach
lola: me? Yeah, I think like I’ve had moments when I haven’t been sitting in integrity and I definitely haven’t been sitting in flow and [00:05:00] those moments were really confronting, but often what I’ll just do is grab a notebook.
This happened when I was a lot younger, like in my twenties. And I’d grab a note. I remember I had talked on morning TV about how to have I’d done a segment on how Beyonce had lost weight and what her diet was. And then I’d done a segment on how to have a Victoria’s secret model body, which is pretty much.
Broccoli and boiled chicken, you know, the drill. And I got off that segment on TV and I started crying because I was like, well, my whole mission is to inspire people. I mean, Zero. And I’m not even inspiring myself. I kind of hung up my TV shoes and that’s how I found yoga teacher training. And I remember at the end of my yoga teacher training, I just sat down with a book and I was like, what would you do if nothing else mattered?
I just started listing stuff. I didn’t think, like I just let my hand write. I was like, They call it stream of consciousness. And I was just like living in a tree house. Haven’t done that yet. Then I was like film, a TV show where I interview [00:06:00] creative people. And that’s kind of like where the podcast now looking back, I was like, well, I’m kind of doing that with a podcast show where I’m not filming it, but it’s long form interviews, which I love.
And so I think that a good thing if you’re feeling stuck is check-in and you know, I love to write, I love to write and draw and like make lists. Even set yourself, like what would even disaster stuff? What would I do if nothing else mattered, if money, wasn’t an issue of visas. Weren’t an issue. If where I lived or, you know, my society’s expectations, family expectations.
If these things weren’t an issue, what would I be doing? I think that’s a pretty cool place to start.
jackie: Oh, I absolutely love that tip, you know? And it’s like, oh, you need to work out is the destination. And you will find yourself moving towards that. But if we can’t, if we can’t even know in ourselves what we actually want, how can we possibly expect to get there?
I love to talk to people about what do you want? And they look at me sometimes and they can’t answer, or they tell [00:07:00] me what they don’t want. I don’t want this. I don’t want to put on weight. I don’t want to work here. It’s like, but, but what do you want? Oh, I’m not sure about that yet. So I love what you’re saying, because it’s so practical, you know, sit there with your list and with nothing else matters and really try and get that from your deep subconscious sort of knowing.
lola: Totally. And I think, how do you want to feel is a really good one, especially around body stuff, but like, how do you want to feel in your own success? Because everybody has a different perception of what is success? What is health? What is, what is feeling good for me? What is, you know, and everyone’s got different goals like around health, around finances, around success, around family, like.
Since I’ve been back in Australia. So eight days in quarantine, the most common question that I’ve been asked on Instagram is am I back to have kids? And I’m like, what? And it’s been quite confronting because confining, because like, it’s forcing me to sit in my, like in [00:08:00] America, nobody cares about your age.
I’ve just turned 36 and here it’s like, yeah, Expiration date or something. It’s really weird. And I just don’t like this weird expectation that while you’re in your mid thirties, you better have a kid now. And it’s like, well, one, how do you know if I haven’t tried and struggled? Which I haven’t, but plenty of friends, my age have.
To like, what if I’d been through some kind of form around that, which I haven’t, but plenty of my friends have all three. Like what if, I don’t know if I want a kid yet, which is the boat that I’m in. I’m really open about that. But yeah, I just find it really interesting that as soon as I land back on Aussie soil, people are like, you’re going back to borrow and have a baby.
And I’m like, no, I’m not. And my favorite way to respond to. Why do you ask that? It’s interesting,
jackie: isn’t it? And I love that you ask that back and that takes, that takes courage, which just speaks to who you are, Lola, but it is interesting. I wouldn’t have, I wouldn’t have thought to ask [00:09:00] that. So I imagine that would be really confronting.
lola: Yeah, I’m used to it. I’m so used to it now, but. Yeah. I’m much more comfortable calling it out now as well. You’ve had a lot of practice. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I use, I L I w I walked through the fire in my twenties when I lost weight publicly and then put it back on and and it was so confronting cause everybody had an opinion on the way I looked and I quickly learned.
And this is going to sound really controversial, but I was like, I’m always going to be too fat for someone, and I’m always going to be too skinny for someone else. So I better figure out what makes me feel good. And that was a game changer. Well,
jackie: that that’s a game changer for me. You’ve taught me so much just in that, in that split second.
I love that. And so tell me, you know, I mean, w we’re all human, right? So we do have days where we look at ourselves and we might not know. What we say, or we’re not proud of something that we’ve said or done when you’re in that, does, does that happen to you?
lola: Totally. Yeah. So when you’re
jackie: meeting, [00:10:00] I just wanted to make sure that you were humid.
So when you, when you are having those moments where, you know, you’re in some sort of phone call, you’re not loving yourself or even liking yourself, what’s a way you can get out of that
lola: space. I have the weirdest remedy.
Uh, Because I love acting and my brain is domain Actron talk, show host. And for me, I love watching people that are creative, live their domicile purpose. So I’ll like anyone that’s seen my quarantine, like as soon as it gets dark here, like I put fairy lights on, I watch a movie like, and for me watching a movie like watching a creative live, their purpose, Fills me up and it gets me out of my funk.
I was in a funk yesterday. I just felt a bit like blah. And I didn’t like my body and stuff. I just went through. That was literally yesterday. And I was like, Lola, put your candle on, put your fairy lights on Haverty [00:11:00] I’ve packed all these delicious. Protein bars for America. I’m like, sit down with your favorite pumpkin spice protein, but like just chill out.
Cause I, I noticed like my, yeah, I love it. My natural, like what I did though, before I did that and caught myself was like, I went on to Uber eats and I was like, Ooh, do I want to get some burgers? Do I want like, and I, and my natural inclination to feel. In a funk was to emotionally eat, but I didn’t do that.
I just was like, I had the moment though, I was in the app, the app was open. I was scrolling, but I just was like, nah, habitate, chill out. Like just take it easy and just kind of like be, and it’s better to sit in the pain and move through it as opposed to consuming something to bandaid that pain
Right. And you know When you’ve moved through that pain and that’s that struggle. And I think , I can definitely relate to that. How good does it feel when you came out the other [00:12:00] side and you know, you’d really done something that you were so proud of. That’s awesome.
lola: Yeah. And you just feel clear, like, I think you can still be like, oh, I don’t feel totally great, but I feel clear, like I got through a really uncomfortable situation.
Self-medicate like the other day I got it. I had a really confronting business meeting, literally this the other day. And someone sent me a bottle of gin to. Soft quote, unquote, soften the blow. And I was like, oh my God. And I, I had, I was like, this is no what my body needs right now. And I just put the gentle way.
I didn’t open it. The tonic water is still in my fridge, like, but I also made a deal to myself. I was like, I don’t want to drink or have sugars while I’m in quarantine. I need to feel mentally.
jackie: Yes. I love that so much. And you know, the other thing, I don’t know if you do this, one of the things I love to teach people that we don’t do enough is to tell [00:13:00] ourselves how awesome we are.
Like, so, so you are familiar with Louise hay, but one thing she taught me is that I pass onto as many people as they can is. Look at yourself in the mirror. When you first wake up and tell yourself how much you love you and that how awesome you are because. It may be the only time you’re told that all day and it reminded me when you move through that period, then.
Do you how much we need to remember to say that was awesome. Lola, like you rocked it then like good job. Like you are so amazing. Like we don’t do that enough to eat.
lola: And I probably less probably fault my, I definitely don’t do it, but my boyfriend and I do it for each other. So we call each other. Boss, but what are your teammates?
And he’ll like, he, he had his vaccine the other day and he’s quite anxious about the whole, like the needle, any side effects. And cause he was living alone. He was just getting really anxious about it. And he [00:14:00] went, he did it on his own. Obviously I’m in quarantine. I can’t be there with them. And I said, I’m really.
Really proud of you. And, you know, he was like, oh, you can ease up. It’s okay. You can eat up there. And I was like, no, no. Like it would have been hard. Like when I got to America and landed in LA, I’m really wanting to get Pfizer. And so I looked up at a clinic, the only clinic that had it that day available was in Inglewood, which is.
Inglewood is a rough area. It’s like a gang area and I lined up for an hour and got it. And I was, I own as well. And I dunno, I just think, you know, what scares one person doesn’t scare a number another, but when you understand a human and their challenges and their, I guess their belief system as well, you can kind of support them and like things that freak me out.
The warrant, Frank and boss out, he’ll be able to be there and hold space for me so that I can like move through it. You know?[00:15:00]
jackie: Absolutely. You are so fearless. I think I read about you that you just keep putting yourself in these, in this place of here. Like was one skydiving.
lola: Yeah. I loved it. I love to scan myself.
I love feeling fear. , I know it sounds probably a bit psychotic, but I love it. You grow, you know, Moves through it. You get, I love. Feeling like I am out of my comfort zone. I really like acting acting school twice a week. I was like, sweaty palms. Here we go. Here we go. And jump it. Living in LA, living in LA on my own, that was confronting is anything you know, Car battery stolen out of my, at the front of my house.
One day I had, I went to Albertsons, which is like a Coles or Woolies. And I was followed home by this guy on a scooter who was just like going on about my ass. And I was just like far out, I didn’t one day I walk to a CVS, which is like a chemist warehouse in America. [00:16:00] And this drunk guy was kind of like walking down the street and he clocked me and I, and I clocked him back.
Cause I was like, oh, this guy. It feels really unsafe. And, and then he just like started ranting at nobody about me and was like, there’s this really weird lady looking at me. And I was like, excuse me. Like, I really had to sit in. So yeah. I like being uncomfortable obviously. Like you don’t want to be in danger all the time, but that’s, you know, I think it’s, you do grow a new builds so much resilience when you’re outside your company.
jackie: Oh, my goodness. Well, it suits you. I love it. I love that. Um, So talking about relationships early and you mentioned Baso Matt, your partner, and what about, is it who’s this, is there a special person, a mentor that you’ve had that has made a really big difference in your life? And what did they
lola: do to, I would say one, I never got to meet.[00:17:00]
And he had a huge impact on my career so that Steve Berwyn. So I, every Sunday, when I grew up, I’d watch him on telly. And I remember when I was studying nutritional medicine, I was like, That’s what I want to do. I want, like, I loved his passion and his like raw enthusiasm and he was unapologetically Steve, right?
Yes. And I love that. And I was like, oh, he’s using media to help people and educate people. How cool. And so then I like got three jobs, saved up, bought a video camera and started talking to camera about health. And he was always my inspiration. I actually dedicated one of my books to him. And Terry Irwin organized like a tour of Steve-O and zoo for me and everything.
And I got to go in and closure with a binge wrong, which is like this really amazing little half bear, half possum thing. It’s amazing. Yeah. So he’s been like a hero that I never ever met, but like, I have gone to see bones in many, a time [00:18:00] and just cried at his Memorial is like, oh, I can get teary talking about him.
I just think he’s like so inspiring and like passionate. And it’s that unapologetically yourself. Like, it’s just so cool. And I know Ozzy’s, don’t think he’s that cool, but Americans love him. Yeah. And he wasn’t accepted in Australia until he made it in America. And I kinda like, feel like. Yeah, he made it big in America and then Australia, like your hours.
I kind of feel like that might be my trajectory too. I’ve always felt that. And yeah, and then my real life very much a living mentor is my therapist and life coach, and he’s also a hypnotherapist and he I’ve been working with him for coming on five years now. And he has had a huge impact on my career and helped me navigate.
So many tough decisions and, and, and really face my own ego and whatnot. And so that’s a big non-negotiable for me.
jackie: [00:19:00] How good to have your people around you that are so special and that help you grow I’ve I’ve got a couple of coaches and without them in my results are accelerated and you know, towards talking about early, around our map, like our destination, you get there so much faster.
Helping people understand that it’s okay to have your people, that whoever they are that are there as your guides and the right people will come into your life at the right time. I believe that
lola: totally. But yeah, you’ve got to have your team, like people call it tribe and whatnot, but I, I would say my team, my team, and that goes for.
Personally, but also professionally, like, like I have got the world’s most epic publicist. Who’s got my back, no matter what. And even last week I had to do an interview because I was in hot water about flying to Australia. And she’s called me up straight away, gave me all my talk points. She was like [00:20:00] the front foot of this, Lola let’s be open honest, that’s your whole shtick.
And I was like, And just talked me through it and had my back like so powerful, especially in the industry of media it’s dog eat dog. And it’s harder in Australia because there’s less work. So yeah, I think like having, having that gang that really truly believes in you and also letting go of the people that don’t is really important,
jackie: so important.
Yeah. Who are they? Who are your five people that you’re hanging out with and who are the five people you’re letting go.
lola: Yeah, right. I love that. I have to let go of someone right before I went to America. I had a meeting with them and they were going to be working really closely with me. And we had our first meet up in Sydney.
We were having a little Vino together and I said, Aw, you know, you should know my passion. You should know my goal. And I said, I really want to be. Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy felon or a state called bear. Like I really, my goal is to be [00:21:00] an epic talk show host that helps people and hold space for people and entertains.
She sped a Vino outside of laughing at me, and I like held my shit together for that meeting. And then I walked straight up to my hotel room. My boyfriend was in my hotel room and he goes, and I said, I can’t work with it. And I wish I had the courage looking back to have said. Why would you laugh at me? I wish I did.
I didn’t have the, I think I do now having kind of like being in war America and direct America, but I did let her go and I did part ways, but yeah, you can’t work with people that don’t believe in you. It’s never going to work.
jackie: I’m speechless at that story. But what I would say is you taught me Lola, no regrets. So, and I think, you know, the grace and the elegance that you would have had in that situation speaks, speaks to your integrity and your humanity and yeah. [00:22:00] Wow. It’s interesting, you know, before this conversation I was asking my I’ve got a 10 year old son.
I was asking him, what has mommy taught you? Like what’s what’s something that a lesson that she shared with you that you remember. And the first thing he said was get off the Xbox. And I was like, okay, like something, you know, that a Superman would say to you. And and he said when I’m being bullied know that it’s more about them and not about me.
And yeah. When you told that story, I was, that’s all I could think about. I was like, what’s going on for her? To say that, cause I had nothing to do with you.
lola: Yeah, I know. But you know what? You’re, when you’re in it, it’s so hard to feel like you’re in the, when you’re in the eye of the storm, it’s so hard to be clear, but like, it is powerful to stay clear when you are in the eye of the storm.
Cause when you do come out, like you were saying the other side. Whoa. I just nailed that. Like, [00:23:00] I just had the courage to sit in that and like there’s a word in yoga called , which means to bear witness while standing in for. And so to sit in it and witness it and listen and soak it up and like, I am fire.
I’m not gonna lie to you, Jackie. I am fire. I will, I’ll have a meeting and be like, my boyfriend does a lot of the hard work with the coffee company and is like, oh my God, he’s like, you don’t work on this. And I said, I always say, I’m the evangelist on this and he’s like, shut up if you say evangelists one more time.
Lola. So, but I am, I do like, I’m not afraid of confrontation. I wouldn’t say I thrive in it, but I’m very comfortable sitting in fire now. Like, and I know that there is going to come with growth and so I kind of embrace it and I know it’s going to force me to face my blind spots. It’s going to force me to be, have more courage and to call out crap.[00:24:00]
Yeah. I, I kind of, I welcome it now.
jackie: Yes. Same. And reflecting now in that situation, it’s great. Isn’t it? Because it’s almost like a gift it’s like, what, what did that situation teach you? And you’ve grown so much from that. Ah,
lola: yeah. And you, you get to, like you said, like you can be in that situation and be like, whoa, you’re really mean, and this has got nothing to do with me, but like even when I was in.
LA recently, a friend really dicked me over and guests that me and in the moment, like right after they’d done it, they’d tried to like, make me feel crap. And I just turned around. Hey, that’s really hurtful. Why would you do that? That made me feel awkward. It made me feel uncomfortable. It, and I listed all the ways that it was making me feel and they didn’t know what to do.
And they turned around to me and said, I think it’s just cause we really stressful. [00:25:00] And I was so angry and so hurt that I just burst into tears. I was on rodeo drive mind you, which is like an iconic part of LA, right? I had to go back there with another friend or my bed. I was like, I need to reset the energy of the day.
I drive with a really cool friend. And I went with this amazing guy after we just had the best day down there. I started reset my rodeo energy, but this person previously like much earlier on in my time. It was horrible. And I knew I’d never say them again. And I never did. I hugged them. I said, goodbye, rolling my eyes out.
And then I left. But yeah, so I did have the courage and I taught, said to my therapist, I go, I had the courage to call out really bad behavior in the moment. Amazing. Yeah. Cool. Good work. I was like, this is, this
jackie: is unapologetically evangelistic, Lola. That’s what my calling. I love it. So if I was your [00:26:00] daughter, what would you teach me?
Incessantly? What would you repeat to me? Like.
lola: Ah, I think self-belief goes miles. I think it is like a currency that will never let you down and run out if you’ve created it. And it’s something that I probably didn’t have in mind, like teens and definitely not my twenties. And I would tell any younger listener now that anyone that’s listening to this say in their twenties, Get a therapist, even if you think you don’t need one, like learn to process your stuff.
And like you said, you process things so much faster when you’ve got coaches. And so if you can, it we’ve all got stuff that happened as a kid that we’re still holding onto. Even if it was nothing, our psychology thinks it’s something. And I remember I was holding onto some freaking weird throwaway line.
My mum said to me in the guard, I love my mom. She’s a frigging ledger. But she said some throwaway line. She was tired and stressed. I was having a fight with my brother and she said a throwaway line to my brother about like, basically like [00:27:00] that he was cooler than me in my mind. My perception. She liked him more than me.
That wasn’t the truth at all, but my psychology had remembered it as that. And so, like, I didn’t get to process that until I went to therapy and freaking 30 years old and I was holding on whether I realized it or not subconsciously. And so I will, I always say to people, like, I know it’s still a bit of a stigma in Australia.
Get to a therapist in your twenties, you’re going to have way healthier romantic relationships. You’re going to figure out what you really want to do. You’re going to be less fearful. You’re going to be okay to have like failures and lessons. Yeah, that’s my biggest thing. And I, and you know, my feedback I always get from my publishers is like, you’ve written how important is to have a therapist, like 160 times in this book.
And I’m like, yeah, but it is, I stick by it.
jackie: Absolutely standing in your truth. I agree. I don’t know if you know this about me. I’m a site K practitioner, which is a modality to [00:28:00] reprogram the subconscious mind. So, and I love teaching people that we, you know, we have so many beliefs that are set by the time we’re seven years old.
And so you’re right. Like, I, I think most people have a story about being told that, you know, they were, they were fat or not pretty enough or not, they didn’t do that. Right. Or that. That’s the perception that we’ve taken away. Like you said, your mum was like, what was going on for her in that, in that moment, you know?
And you only know that when you’re older and you’re like, oh gosh, that must’ve been really hard. Like raising us,
lola: like mom. And she had a, she had a sister and so she had said something like, oh, your sisters are so annoying. Aren’t they? That’s all she’d said to my brother, but I’d read it as, oh my God. She doesn’t love me.
She loves my brother. Yeah. And like, you don’t realize it, but as an adult, you really carry that. And I spent so much time in therapy, like healing my [00:29:00] relationship with my mom and then my mum and I went to therapy together and it was the best. Like now she’s my number one cheerleader. And we get on so well, That is
jackie: so great.
Yeah, I can, I can, I completely concur. And I think when you understand that, and you can share that with as many people as possible, the more people coming into this world. Cause it’s, it’s a different generation now than our, our parents and you know, where. I didn’t grow up talking about my feelings or anything like that, or learning how to you, so, you know, my kids have to have, you know, we have lots of chats about how awesome we are and what we really want.
And it’s it’s so it’s just such a different world now. I’m so glad that eh, Honest conversations and courageous conversations are allowed to be had. I even said to my dad the other day he, he works in my team as well. And you know, he’s doing, he does such a good job. He’s a total rock star is a really hard worker that generation.
And [00:30:00] I’ll say, oh, that was fantastic. You know, you rock that out. Awesome work. And he’s. Just think he thinks I’m like exaggerating or like just inability to accept a compliment where it was completely, there was nothing about it. That was anything other than with integrity and what I really meant.
But he just thought I was, you know,
lola: pumping him up. Yeah. How funny. I also think, I love what you’re saying about this generation too. Cause like I keep I’ve said this in nearly every. I am obsessed with Harry styles and that he’s a sex symbol for so many young people. Like I am so pro gender fluidity, like in, in acting school in LA, like, the first thing they say is what’s your pronoun?
And you know, like I’m I went to a stand-up comedy show and this comedian got up and she was like, who in the audiences? Gender, which has made. So I am heterosexual and I’m a female and I associate with being a female. So I’m the most [00:31:00] boring, right? I think you may be the same as me. So we’re cis-gender and we’re heterosexual females.
And. And this comedian got up and they’re like, who is cis-gender and straight in the audience. And I was like, I have never felt so ostracized for my sexuality and my, and it’s the most boring one. Like I’m straight down the line and, but I may, and she’s obviously done it before. Gay people have felt like these for years and years you know, by people would have felt like this transgender people would have felt like this binary people would have felt like this.
And so I just love that, especially in LA, like I got the maker of all that, and I, this was like, whoa, like. I’m the boring sexuality in the room, but I love that. It just like it, who ever you are, is totally celebrated. And I think that’s the, the next generation. And that’s again, where the Harry styles link comes in.
I keep watching every day I watch a [00:32:00] harried styles video of him just like sitting as a guide is femininity. It’s just so much fun to watch. And it, to me, it just feels that same. It comes back to the CBO and story of just being unapologetically yourself.
jackie: Oh, my goodness. I, I totally agree. I’m I’m going to grow.
I’ll make that part of my daily routine now. That’s so awesome. Personally, in terms of personal development, what are you working on on yourself?
lola: Yeah. So I have my, my therapist and naan is non-negotiable. So, every week we work on something different. So at the moment I’m like negotiating a few contracts.
So we’ll probably work very practically and pragmatically on that so that I don’t bring emotion to the meetings. So they used to be. A huge downfall of my personality. Especially when I had a smoothie bar, I was too attached to my ego was way too attached to it. And so working with a therapist around that.
So at the moment, because I’m kind of like in business [00:33:00] mode, I’m about to bring a book out. All of our work is really around feeling clear and strong and resilient and Focused for that. But as far as like personal staff, like I cannot wait to be in my teammates, arms in seven, sleeps and swim in the ocean in broken head.
And narration he’ll like as amazing as LA is like I was falling asleep every single night, listening to sirens, firecrackers and gunshots every night. And you’ll, you’ll play a game in bed. Do we like, is that a gunshot or was. Fireworks, like, it’s that dangerous and it’s that full on? And that’s the energy that you’re falling asleep.
And I knew people in my building had guns too. So like that’s another confronting feeling. And you know, every time you’re on the road driving a car, like probably 50% of people are going to have guns in their car. So, you know, I’m so excited to like, just breathe and [00:34:00] sit to a friend like heal. And they’re like, do you feel like you have healing to do after being in America?
No, but I feel like I’ve gone from like alert, alert, alert, alert to now that I want to go to like nourish, nourish, nourish, nourish, so that when I go back, my battery is fully recharged. I don’t think it’s a city. You can just stay in all the time, all the time, all the time, which is why so many actors have homes in Palm Springs in nature.
Be in the desert and connect and old people. A lot of people like to live in Santa Monica so they can swim in the ocean. Like I get it now because it is an amazing city, but it’s rough.
jackie: Yeah. Wow. The bottom of my gut just fell out. When you talking about the guns and the sirens. Yeah, that would take it.
And to me, that’s you know, , that’s deep in my, in my subconscious, so it’s really interesting energetically. It would take its toll for sure. Hey Lola, so you are a public profile, amazing nurse evangelists, unapologetically lower[00:35:00] being in the public domain. Does that change the way that you make decisions?
lola: No, I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve never seen myself as like a profile or a celeb or any of that kind of stuff. So I’ve never seen myself as that. I just see myself as Lola chasing a dream. So I don’t really believe in having too much of a filter. I’m pretty transparent. I mean, like, I’m trying to think if I keep anything, some things like I keep private sure.
Like, especially with my boyfriend and I, like, we have. Such a strong bond that we like to keep some stuff just him and I, and, and, you know, and he even keeps saying to me is like, if you do not switch off over Christmas, if you do not switch to like, you know, and, and I was, I’m a quite addicted to working and being productive and feeling.
So we’ve got a favorite health retreat in Byron called Gaia, and I’m like so excited to go to Guyer and have a massage and have lunch with the boss. And so. Some stuff I like to keep the [00:36:00] us, but pretty much what you see is what you get like 90% is like, I put it all out there. I get smashed all the time on Instagram and I, you, I, I’ve only had to restrict a few people cause they’re absolutely crazy.
But other than that, like put them on restricted. So they have access to me. Cause they’re. Not and that’s not me like being mean. That’s just like, after you have like 16 messages being told to revile human or that you’ve injected an aborted baby into your arms, or, you know, like Matt’s been really good at like, that’s when I got vaccinated, by the way, if people like what in a block
jackie: wasn’t following, but I was just running with it.
lola: Yeah. When I got vaccinated now I saw him was like you yeah. And shame on you and all this crazy stuff. So Matt’s really good. He’s like, you need to not respond like boss. He’s like, you can’t respond to that. You can’t give it because you can’t win with some people. And I always thought you could. And so he’s like, no, no, no.
You’ve got to let it go.
jackie: Well, that’s [00:37:00] your just eternal positivity, isn’t it? And that’s a gift as well. Yeah. But yeah,
lola: looking at it
jackie: well and how lucky you know, I’m, I’m the same with my hubby, you know, w we quite, probably quite similar personalities, like super optimistic, always see the good in people would never think anyone would do anything to hurt you.
And I suppose that’s nice naive. And so you need your, you need your Mariana, non-hard your other half to really save that for people. Cause I love this. Uh, Yes, absolutely. So. When I was traveling around Willow and I were talking about this before the show started, when I was traveling around with societies my husband and I were learning Spanish at the time in a little Spanish school.
And the teachers taught us that we, as, as lovers where the other half of the orange, which is so half, and that I’m hot, it’s orange. And I was saying to you, Lola, that you [00:38:00] boss remind me of mark and I, then Mariana.
lola: I love it so much. I can’t wait to call boss after this and tell him what he is telling
He’s talking the other half of my
lola: orange mate
jackie: it’s as beautifully romantic. Well, I have one final question for you, Lola. You’re such an angel in 10, 10 books. Yoga teacher accomplished actor as soon to be Jimmy Kimmel’s uh, female fish and talks or host um, nutritionist TV presenter. I’m sure I’ve left out a lot of accomplishments.
What I love about you is that you are so unapologetically Lola. So, you know, if that’s, if that’s how you came into this world or if that’s what you’ve adopted from Steve-O, what is your next adventure? What have you got for his next, what do you embarking?
lola: Well, thank you so much. Like my whole dream is to be like unapologetically myself, you know?
And even in acting like you want to bring a little bit of yourself to [00:39:00] every character and just kind of like leave it there as a little, I dunno. It’s so cool. I guess the next thing I’m doing, the reason why I flew back from LA. To Australia in the middle of the pandemic. Otherwise I would have stayed put in Boston.
I would have just done a couple more months apart, because the book’s coming out. So for me, feel asleep, failing the podcast has now become a book. And so that’s going to be available from the first November. And then I’m here to, I just really want to be with the boss and I’ve got an amazing manager and agent here, and I was like, I’m here for six months.
Like let’s, let’s, you know, work. I want to work. I want to do cool stuff. I really want to do some TV presenting and hosting. It’s just hard because in Australia I’ve shot like so many pilots and none of them get green links. So you just like falling flat on your face over and over again. And you know, I’ve written to my acting agents.
I’m like, let’s get some auditions. So. Keep like trying and failing and trying and failing while I’m here. And I really want to do some acting training with one of my favorite [00:40:00] teachers in Australia. So probably a little bit of travel when things over.
jackie: Well, your amazing podcast is can’t wait to get my hands on that book.
Fearlessly, fail, failing so
good. And it is so amazing to have you back on Aussie soil. You’re an absolute dream. Lola, what you give to the world is incredible. Thank you so much for being on the podcast today and joining me in this conversation.
lola: Ah, thanks for having me when so fast, I was like, whoa, you know, I loved it.
It’s such an honor to be on the pod. So thank you for reaching out Jackie. You’re a legend. Thank you, Lola.
Feel Better Resources
Want to feel better now? Here are some resources to get you started:
Lola Berry’s new book – Fearlessly Failing